Office manager talking

If you've ever worked in an office environment, you'll know that some workplace annoyances are as commonplace as the office coffee machine.

Whether it's the water cooler gossip group or that one guy who always leaves his dirty dishes lying around, certain recurring stereotypes rear their head time after time after time.

One such stereotype that's virtually universal is the legendary language of office lingo – a bizarre verbiage used seemingly only within the confines of the office walls.

 

Our 5 Most Irritating Office Buzzwords

From “blue sky thinking” and “reinventing the wheel” to “raising the bar” and “moving the needle”, office linguistics have become a parody of themselves over time.

With that being said, let’s not waste any more column inches. It’s time to grab the low-hanging fruit and open the kimono with a brief intro to some of the most common (and most annoying) office buzzwords known to man.

 

“Ideas shower”

Example: “That’s great. Maybe we should have an ideas shower to expand on this.”

Translation: Brainstorm.

The term “ideas shower” came to prominence in the mid-to-late 2000s after somebody decided that “brain storming” might be offensive to people with epilepsy.

Despite the eggshell treading, a 2005 survey - carried out by the Epilepsy Society - found that “93 per cent of people with epilepsy did not find the term derogatory or offensive in any way”, rendering that caution rather pointless.

Nevertheless, the term is still used in offices to this day, with execs the world over lathering up in its inspiring waters daily.

 

“Learnings”

Example: “What are the key learnings here, Chad?”

Translation: Lessons.

Where to begin?

Okay, we should probably start by highlighting that “learnings” isn’t actually a legitimate dictionary term. Yet here we are…

We’re guessing that, somewhere along the way, “lessons” became a dirty word (unbeknownst to the rest of the world) and a suitable corporate replacement was required.

The chosen substitute was “learnings” – presumably the result of an ideas shower.

 

“Synergise”

Example: “We need to synergise and think outside the box going forward.”

Translation: Work together.

Using dynamic words can be a great way to engage people in a meeting or presentation; however, this is one business term that has gone the way of Tony Christie’s “Amarillo”.

A hackneyed old trope, “synergise” has become an overused crutch for execs looking to incite unity, boost motivation and inspire.

Ironically, this uninspired office cliché is about as inspiring as a demotion and more likely to inspire a migraine.

 

“Disambiguate”

Example: “We need to disambiguate the figures so I can run the numbers by HO.”

Translation: Clarify.

If there was ever a term laced with the power to send teeth into an instinctive state of grinding, this is it.

An ironically confusing word in its own right, this is one term that should be left alone to marinate in its own ambiguity.

 

“Paradigm shift”

Example: “Okay, people. This company is in need of a paradigm shift.”

Translation: Dramatic change.

A true corporate classic, this term is often used to highlight a significant change within a company, industry, or business strategy.

Instead, it often leaves innocent bystanders shell-shocked into a state of dumbfounded numbness.

In the event of such puzzlement, kindly request that your host disambiguate their statement.

 

Honourable Mentions

There are plenty of other infuriating office buzzwords where those came from, such as…

 

“Take this conversation off-line”

Example: “I agree, but perhaps we should take this conversation off-line.”

Translation: Chat in private.

 

“Get our ducks in a row”

Example: “We really need to get all our decks in a row if we want to hit these targets.”

Translation: Get organised.

 

“Cascading relevant information”

Example: “If we could start cascading relevant information, that would be great.”

Translation: Discuss with colleagues.

 

“Guesstimate”

Example: “If I had to guesstimate, Miles, my bonus this year is well into six figures.”

Translation: Guess. Or estimate.

 

“Bandwidth”

Example: “I don't care what marketing says, we don't have the bandwidth for another big project right now.”

Translation: Resources.

 

“Close of play”

Example: “I want that Johnson file on my desk by close of play, Susan.”

Translation: The end of the day.

 

“Upskill”

Example: “We need to upskill the team to increase our bottom line.”

Translation: Train.

 

“Restructuring”

Example: “Head Office have ordered this restructuring, Steve - my hands are tied!”

Translation: Clear out your desk.

 

Buzzword Bingo

If you work in an office, there’s a good chance you’ve already heard some of the above terms this week. You may even be guilty of regurgitating one or two yourself!

As a rule of thumb, the more corporate the environment, the more examples you can expect to find, worn like a verbal badge of honour, proudly polished off in every meeting and presentation. As such, deciphering office buzzwords has become an accepted part of working life for many.

So much so, in fact, that “Buzzword Bingo” has been a popular game for decades, providing office workers the world over with a humorous way to pass the time, avoid boredom and subdue their grating fury over hollow words and surplus syllables.

Why not play a round of Buzzword Bingo during your next ideas shower? Just be sure to synergise with colleagues, get your ducks in a row, and cascade the relevant information ahead of time.

Follow HRS on Twitter >>   Browse Science Jobs >>

Biochemistry is a  fascinating subject that teaches you about the fundamental building blocks of life. Because the subject is so broad, biochemistry jobs cover many sectors from forensics through to nanotechnology and beyond. 

If you've studied biochemistry at university, there are many biochemistry jobs that you'll be a good candidate for. Choosing the right biochemistry job for you is made easier if you have a rough idea of the area you want to work in. Hopefully, during the course of your studies, you have been inspired to specialise in a particular area that has sparked your interest. 

Let's take a look at some of the most popular biochemistry jobs to get an idea of what biochemistry job roles look like.

Pharmacologist

Working as a pharmacologist, your main goal is to investigate how drugs interact with biological systems. This can be a very rewarding job because you will be:

  • Discovering and creating new medicines
  • Exploring how the effects of certain drugs differ from person to person
  • Improving existing drugs so they are safer and more effective

Browse All Pharmaceutical Jobs Here >

Biotechnologist

In this role, you will study all aspects of cells and organisms to create new technology and products. As a biotechnologist, your main goal is to improve people's quality of life. With a biochemistry background, it's likely that, as a biotechnologist, you'll want to specialise in microbiology, forensics, and medicine. Things you'll be tasked with include:

  • Conducting experiments with living organisms
  • Research and data analysis
  • Maintaining and operating standard laboratory equipment

Browse All Biotechnology Jobs Here >

Clinical Research Associate 

If clinical trials have been the highlight of your biochemistry degree, then perhaps working as a Clinical Research Associate might be perfect for you. It's likely that you'll be testing clinical trials on drugs, their effectiveness and their safety. Other aspects of this role include:

  • Liaising with doctors and other investigators
  • Monitoring trials throughout their duration
  • Preparing written clinical reports for publication

Browse All Biotechnology Jobs Here >

 

Of course, this is just a small selection of the biochemistry jobs you can choose from, but we hope this gives you an overview of the kind of work biochemists can do.

To gain a better understanding of the different jobs that fall under the biochemistry umbrella, it's best to start looking at current job vacancies! By searching for 'biochemistry' on our 'find a job' page, you will be able to see a range of roles that fall under this category.

By reading real biochemistry job descriptionskey duties and responsibilities and role requirements, you will gain a much clearer understanding of the type of biochemistry job you want to/can apply for. 

Click Here to start your biochemistry job hunt today! If you have any questions about biochemistry jobs, job applications, or even writing your CV, don't hesitate to get in touch.

You can call us on +44 (0)239102980 or email us at info@hyperec.com.

Two people negotiating a job contract

Are you thinking about changing jobs? Here at Hyper Recruitment Solutions, we often get asked the question...

"When is the best time to switch jobs?"

...and, unfortunately, there's no definitive answer. It's all dependent on your specific circumstances and what point you're at in your career.

The following questions should help you decide if the time is right to make a change:

 

How long have you been in your current job?

Interviewers will always be interested in the level of 'professional stability' you have displayed in your working life to date. If you're someone who has repeatedly jumped from job to job without ever really progressing upwards or taking the time to settle into a particular role, this can indicate that you'll be quick to leave their company behind, too.

Of course, for a potential employer, this can be incredibly off-putting. If you've only been in your current role for a few weeks or months, it might not be a great idea to switch jobs just yet.

 

Is there room to progress?

For lots of people, the right time to switch jobs comes when they no longer feel like they can progress in their current role. Have you been in the same job for several years?

If you haven't had a promotion or pay rise for a long time and you don't see one on the horizon, this may be a sign that now would be a good time to switch jobs. After all, you don't want to continue to working hard for an employer who will never encourage you to progress further in your career.

 

How does it make you feel?

We spend a huge portion of our adult lives at work, and if at all possible, it's definitely worth pursuing a role and a working environment that make you feel happy and positive. If you feel that you're doggedly persevering with a job that - for whatever reason - is making you unhappy, it may well be time for a change.

Of course, there is a difference between a couple of bad days and a job that consistently makes you miserable. Take a few days to mull over your decision, and don't hand in your notice until you're sure about how you're feeling.

If you're ready to switch jobs, why not browse the vacancies we currently have on offer here at HRS?

Search Science Jobs >>   Careers at HRS >>

Office Small Talk

Whether you like it or not, small talk is something that everyone engages in from time to time, if only because it's preferable to an awkward silence. But how do people feel about small talk in the office? We conducted a survey of UK employees to see what the general consensus is.

Small Talk in the Office: Survey Results

Interestingly, 81% of those surveyed - a big majority - found small talk in the office to be generally irritating. Does this figure surprise you? Let's take a look at some of the conversation topics that people voted MOST annoying when it comes to office small talk.

  • According to our survey, children and football were the most irritating topics of all.

  • Forced pleasantries, such as wishing colleagues a Happy New Year on the first day back at work, were voted irritating by 29% of respondents.

  • Trash talking one's colleagues was found irritating by 36% of respondents.

  • 23% of those surveyed agreed that conversations about evenings and weekends were annoying.

  • 17% of people don't like talking to their colleagues about the weather.

So why does office small talk persist despite the fact that so many people seem to dislike it?

Well, some find that small talk lessens feelings of awkwardness and makes the working environment feel more relaxed. Others may just enjoy it as a distraction from work!

We think this has been an interesting insight into the opinions of employees when it comes to small talk - do you think the results would be similar in your office?

Want to keep up to date with our latest insights into the world of work? Follow HRS on Twitter, or like us on Facebook!

How Much Do You Know About Office Etiquette? >>

Arguing with Colleagues

Lots of people dread going to work in the morning, but this often has nothing to do with the work itself. Even the most tedious tasks can be enjoyable if you're working with people you like, and by the same token, your dream job can quickly turn into a nightmare when you don't get on with your colleagues.

If the people you work with are causing you stress, here are a few tips that can will hopefully make your working life a little bit easier:

Learn about the colleagues you dislike

If you know someone quite well, you are more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt when they do something that annoys you (whereas you may find it hard to tolerate such behaviour from a virtual stranger). Take some time to learn about your colleagues - who they are, what they're like, what makes them tick - and you may find it easier to like them.

Tip: Perhaps that short-tempered colleague of yours has just gone through a bad divorce that has left them exhausted or impatient. Or maybe management recently refused them a promotion. In any case, getting to know your co-workers will help you to understand where they are coming from and could help you learn to like them more.

Never gossip about your colleagues

When a co-worker is stressing you out, it can be tempting to vent your frustration to other colleagues once the offender is out of the room. You may even feel like spreading gossip about the person in the office or lab that you're not particularly fond of, but ask yourself: what good will come from doing this? Will it help build your relationship with them? Will it improve your chances of future promotion? Will it make your department work harder and more efficiently? The answer, of course, is no.

Tip: Instead of potentially making the relationship worse, try to find ways to improve it by being professional and respectful even to the colleagues who get on your nerves. If you do feel the need to say something, say it to the person's face (or make a formal complaint to management if necessary) rather than talking about someone behind their back.

Be the adult

When you were in school, teachers would expect you to be civil to everyone, no matter who they were or what may have happened between you. If you were able to do that as a child, you should have no problem doing it now!

Tip: You don't have to become best friends with the person you dislike - just be polite. Get on with your job, help others where you can, and if at possible, do not respond to childish bad behaviour. You might be surprised to find that professionalism can be very contagious!

Document your conversations

But what if a co-worker is doing more than merely getting on your nerves? Colleagues can sometimes say/do horrible things that make you feel uncomfortable or even unsafe. Words and actions can have a tremendous effect on a person - and it's important to report unacceptable behaviour to management so that it can be dealt with - but it can be hard to prove that someone said or did something if there is no record of it taking place. So what can you do? Make a record!

Tip: If you're having serious issues with a particular individual, try to stop speaking to them face-to-face and instead communicate via email so that every interaction can be documented. They may be more professional when they know that there will be a written record of any transgressions, and if their bad behaviour continues, you'll be able to prove it!

Are you the problem?

It can be hard to admit, but in some cases, dislike for a colleague may be due to that person not having the same bad habits as you. Nobody likes being criticised or told what to do, but before you take action, examine your own behaviour to make sure you're not giving others a valid reason to complain.

Tip: If someone keeps nagging you to complete a particular task, is it because they're impatient, or is it because you consistently let them down? If the latter, changing your own behaviour may trigger a dramatic improvement in the relationship between you and your colleague.

For more news and insights about the world of work, be sure to follow Hyper Recruitment Solutions on Facebook and Twitter!

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